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Marty Teal D'Var Torah Men's Club Shabbat Service - April, 2008
Phyllis Savin D'Var Torah - March, 2008
Keith Liker D'Var Torah - February, 2008
Matthew Shugart Conversion Speech - May 23, 2007
Freda Heller D'Var Torah - June 9, 2007
Natalie Diamond D'Var Torah - February 2007
Keith Liker D'Var Torah - January 2007
Karina Liker's Bat Mitzvah Speech on Mezuzot
Mary Lou Criqui's Conversion Speech
Mary Klein Conversion Speech - April 1, 2006


Mary Klein Conversion Speech - April 1, 2006

I'd like to thank each of you, not only for being here today to welcome me as a member of the Jewish people and the Temple Adat Shalom congregation, but also for your warm welcome a year ago upon my arrival at Temple Adat Shalom and your support and kindness throughout my journey over the past year. I have learned much from each of you, by way of word and example.

Thank you to Rabbi Malino, Rabbi Elizabeth, and Cantor Frank for all of the gifts you have shared with me. I would also like to thank Rabbi Mark and Rabbi Prinz, who, although they are not here today, have been an invaluable part of my journey over the past year.

I would also like to thank my brother, John, and my son, Jonathan, for being here today. While they are not Jewish, they have supported me throughout this journey, and celebrate with me today.

A very special thank you to my very dear friend Judy, who with her usual love and kindness helped provide and prepare the lunch we will enjoy together following the service.

I'd like to thank my friend Freda for being here today at this difficult time, and to take a moment to remember Ben whose friendship and memory is truly a blessing in my life.

At various times over the past year, I was asked by many of you: "Why do you want to be Jewish?" More than one of you prefaced the question with something along the lines of: "I was born Jewish, and I love being Jewish, but I am always amazed and curious when someone wants to become Jewish." I'd like to give you my answer to that question today, and share a bit about my journey, in part as a way of introducing myself to you, but more importantly in the hope that it may serve to encourage you to be as welcoming and willing to share your gifts with the next person who walks into TAS searching, as you were to me.

The Midrash teaches that "Each of us has three names: the name we are given at birth, the name we are called, and most important, the name we make for ourselves." Each of our lives is a journey. Some of us have good beginnings, others do not. Some of us are lucky enough to be born into a family into which they fit and that passes on values and customs which they treasure throughout their life, some are not. For those who are so lucky, you still make choices every day to hold dear and continue to live by the values and customs you were given. So although perhaps at birth you did not choose to be Jewish, in reality each day you choose to be Jewish. For those of us who were not so lucky, we have an additional step - the step of finding out where we fit in the world. For me this has been a 45 year long journey, but I have arrived, and now just like those of you who were born Jewish, and those of you who before me chose to be Jewish, I too, each day, will choose to be Jewish.


A little about my journey. . . .

My exploration into the Jewish faith began a couple of weeks before Passover last year, when after decades of struggling with my faith and how I was to be in relationship with God, a small quite voice inside said: "You do not have to do it this way anymore, there is another way." I was one of those people who was not so lucky as to have a good beginning in life. At the age of two, I was adopted by parents who raised my brother, sister and I in the Catholic religion. We faithfully attended church services each Sunday, and four years of my elementary education was spent at Catholic schools. However, my home life as a child was not a happy one. My days and nights were spent hearing messages of how unworthy and useless I was, how I did not deserve to be loved, and how much I deserved the pain they caused. At home, there would be traumatic scenes throughout the week, often even on Sunday mornings before church. More often than not, during the church services my mother refused to take my outstretched hand and wish me peace at the time designated in the service to turn to those around you and wish them peace. In this experience as a child, it was difficult to develop a concept of a loving God, much less how I was to be in relationship to God.

Over the course of my adult life, I continued to seek this relationship in the Christian arena, attending services and bible study groups at various denominations. On the surface the ultimate message seemed simple enough - accept Jesus in your heart and you will enjoy eternal life with God.

This message seemed so comforting to those around me, they seemed to find great peace and faith in it all. But time and time again - peace and faith eluded me. I continued to grapple with the underlying teachings and the ultimate message, including the teachings that the God of the "old testament" was a vengeful and wrathful God, who decided to change his relationship with us by sending his only son to be crucified to pay for our sins, including the original sin of Adam and Eve of which we were guilty and therefore born sinners, and that our ultimate goal on this planet was to come to accept Jesus and in doing so to be worthy of eternal life with God.

I didn't "get it." What did it mean to want a relationship with a God who was vengeful and wrathful to his children, and whose way of changing that relationship was to send his only son to be tortured and crucified? How could it be that our only purpose on this planet, the mess that it is, is only to live for a life to come? While some of the messages of Christianity fit into the value system I had developed, . . . live by the ten commandments, love your neighbor as yourself, how could it be that Jesus was the messiah when the world was still so full of pain? Could it really be that God was just playing with us, torturing us, testing us in this lifetime - for the purpose of making us worthy of a joyful eternal life with Him? Not to mention that the concept of original sin was deeply disturbing to me.

At some point, I stopped attending church services and concluded that maybe I just was not able to have this relationship with God that I felt was so important. I figured I would do the best I could to live a good life, by living the ten commandments and treating others the way I would like to be treated.

After an unsuccessful marriage, I entered therapy and worked hard to overcome the negative messages I had been given about myself as a child. And, . . . life was okay, but there was still this missing piece.

A little over two years ago, an acquaintance invited me to a Christian bible study. I decided that maybe with the personal growth experiences I had gone through, I could come to understand the Christian teachings in a new light, and finally fill in this missing piece of my life. However, my experience was no better, and at some level even more difficult, than it had been before. How, now, could I reconcile the "you are a sinner" line of thinking with all of the work I had done to overcome the childhood teachings of my parents that I was worthless and deserving of their abuse? I spent a year trying to understand, trying to "get it," trying to believe, - - but the entire time I was there I continued to feel judged and that there must just be something fundamentally wrong with me because I could not get what these other people seemed to grasp so easily. Even more disturbing was that in this now post 9-11 world, this particular group of people heartily espoused the message that everyone but those who believed the way they did was wrong and headed for eternal damnation. Enter - - the small/quiet voice inside - - - "You do not have to do it this way anymore, there is another way."

I knew little to nothing about Judaism or the Jewish people, but my line of thinking was that Christianity grew out of the Jewish faith and maybe this is where I should begin. My search began on the internet, and I found what I was reading appealing and interesting: God is One. We are all born with perfect souls and the capacity for good and evil.

After finding Temple Adat Shalom and calling the Temple office, I received a return call from Helen Sabo, who was very kind and explained that there was a Learner's Shabbat the following Friday night I might be interested in. I attended that service and dinner, and was very pleased by the warm welcome I received by Helen and all those I met. The things I heard during the service appealed to me, the tone of the service and the messages were comforting and comfortable - God of mercy and kindness - who makes us holy through his mitzvot. The attitude of those in attendance was welcoming - without being "pushy" or "judgmental." It was a: "welcome - join us if you like" kind of feeling.

Some of the early services I attended are now a bit melded together in my mind, so exactly when I came to an understanding of what seems impossible to separate out.

However, the story of Passover and the Exodus was, and remains, a powerful one for me, as is the teaching that as Jews are all to see ourselves as if we had personally been freed from slavery in Egypt and entered into the covenant at Mount Sinai. On that first Passover, which I celebrated with matzah and grape juice overlooking the ocean in Del Mar, it seemed that the message of that quite voice just a few weeks before had been: "Follow me out of Egypt and learn." Every day, I thank God that I did. I am eternally grateful to each of you for being so welcoming and willing to teach.

Over that summer and continuing thereafter, I read many books on Judaism and the Jewish people. I was introduced to the concepts of tikkun olam and gemilut chasadim, and came to have an understanding of, and love of, the Jewish value of focusing on this lifetime and the part we are to take in making this world a better place, rather than just living for an eternal life to come. I bought a Torah commentary, and began reading with a new openness to know God as One - who led the us out of Egypt to be our God. Through my own reading, attendance at services, and in the various classes I have attended at TAS, I learned about Torah, the Jewish festivals, laws, customs and teachings.

I have, also, come to appreciate that the ritual mitzvot are not, as I was taught previously, superfluous or meaningless rules, but rather enhance the Jewish experience. I treasure Shabbat - what a gift it is to set one day a week aside to rest and appreciate all the gifts God has given us - to stop and feel God's peace and light. I get much out of attending services on both Friday evening and Saturday morning. Friday evening services are, for me, the opportunity to reflect on the past week, what I have accomplished or failed to accomplish, to consider how I would like to live in the week to come, and then to let it all go and be thankful for the gifts I have been given, including Shabbat. The Saturday morning service gives me an opportunity to focus on the teachings and the gift of the Torah, and to receive input from the rabbis and my fellow congregants on the interpretation of the Torah and how it applies to our lives today. I enjoy closing my day with communal prayer in Minyan, whenever possible. I find it brings greater focus to my day and meaning to my life to begin and end my day in private prayer. I find comfort in being reminded of God's presence and how I am to be in this world by the mezuzah as I enter and leave my home. Observing Yom Kippur through fasting and prayer was a moving experience that has made me more conscious throughout the days since that while I may from time to time stray, God is ever constant and present and welcoming and awaiting my return. And, although I do not keep all of the rules regarding keeping kosher, I find that I am reminded of the presence of God when I make conscious decisions regarding what I will and will not eat.

Very early in my experience at TAS I had a feeling of having "come home" to the Jewish faith. As I continue to study, learn and participate, I like the home I have found more and more with each passing day. I began to get involved in our Temple community, not only by attending worship services, but by participating in other activities as well, such as helping with the oneg preparation at the kind invitation of Freda, joining the usher corp at the kind invitation of Keith, and participating in Mitzvah Day and various other service opportunities. I look forward to becoming involved in future service opportunities with the TAS community.

Something I was completely unaware of, prior to my beginning to explore the Jewish faith, was the Jewish concept of "peoplehood," the Jewish concept that we have both a personal and communal mission in life. Upon discovering this, an internal "WOW!" shouted from the depths of my soul, and continues to resonate. While I share a close and loving relationship with my brother, and I love my son with all my heart and soul, I had not enjoyed a sense of "peoplehood" with the family into which I was adopted. From very early in my youth, I watched how my parents behaved in the world and decided that this was not who I wanted to be. As an adult, I have spent my life working to develop, and live by, my own values and belief system. It had, prior to my coming to Temple Adat Shalom, been a lonely journey. What a joy it is to find that there is a community with which I can share my life's journey. For me, converting to Judaism, in addition to having found a faith I can wrap myself around, is the opportunity to choose who my people are, and who I am a part of - the community with which I can learn about, grow in and express my faith with in this world. I look forward to our future together.

So, why have I chosen to be Jewish? Because I no longer have to try to believe or try to have a relationship with God. Because the concepts of being in a covenantal relationship with God and God as One resonate in my soul. Because living a Jewish life gives meaning to my life and provides a way of being in this world. Because being part of the Jewish people and having a communal purpose in life is fulfilling and gratifying. Because I cannot imagine being anything else.

I hope my story has served to help you to be a little less amazed that there are those who would choose to be Jewish, and to make you more consciously aware that as Jews we have much to offer those who are searching; that it is not genetic lineage that makes us God's chosen people, but it is in our choosing to possess and live by the way of Torah that makes us chosen; and, that others too, can share in this "choosenness," if they so choose. This is the ultimate gift that we have to share. Thank you, for sharing this gift with me and for all your support and kindness along my journey. Shalom.