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D'var Torah by Keith A. Liker - November 26, 2010
Parsha Vayieshev

This week's Torah Portion, Vayieshev, begins the astounding narrative of our ancestor Joseph. This rich story is familiar to us because we study it each year. In reading Vayeishev this time, something new caught my attention which I hadn't realized previously: This Torah portion also addresses the culmination of the unintended consequences of several generations of our fathers and mothers engaged in a repeating pattern of favoring one or more family members at the expense of other family members.

Favoritism is not new to our ancestors. It comes from a constricted belief system that there are not enough blessings available for all of one's family members, and/or that one's love is best when it is deliberately directed away from one person, and is given instead in concentrated form to another.

In the Book of Genesis(B'reishit), we see this pattern repeated from one generation to the next, such that, by the time of Joseph, it becomes a dysfunctional family institution with almost a life of its own. We also see it lead again and again to destructive results. By the time of Joseph and his brothers, we already have in place four consecutive generations of established favoritism by our Patriarchs and Matriarchs.

Regardless of the reasons given in the Torah, what is clear is that Abraham and Sarah favor Isaac over Ishmael. Isaac learns this favoritism from his parents because he is the direct beneficiary of it. As a father, Isaac in turn favors Esau over Jacob, while his wife, Rebekkah, favors Jacob over Esau. This favoritism divides the family. In fact, Rebekkah's favoring of Jacob results in her actively assisting Jacob to defraud his father to the clear detriment of her other son, Esau.

Jacob, obviously, learns this family pathology of favoritism from his parents. He perpetuates it further by favoring Rachel over Leah, and also by favoring the two sons borne to him by Rachael (Joseph and Benjamin) over his other ten sons. It culminates in Jacob's overt preferential treatment of Joseph - with more disastrous results for the family.

In Vayeishev, then, we see ourselves, through the mirror of our ancestors, struggling to remain aware of Adonai's promises, in the midst of what can only be described as some very pervasive day-to-day family dysfunction. What can easily be missed here is that Adonai remains present with us even in the midst of our dysfunctional families. When faced with our human shortcomings, God chooses to still work with us, and does not abandon us or cease the flow of Divine Grace into our lives. Instead of disengaging from us as a punishment for our poor choices, Adonai simply allows us to experience the consequences of our actions, so we will hopefully learn from them and grow wiser.

The Torah itself recognizes this. Later, in the Book of Exodus (Shemot), the Torah helps explain this relationship between the often unintended consequences of our choices and God's very nature. Centuries after the time of Joseph and his brothers, Adonai permits Moses to see the backside of the Divine Presence pass by him on Mt. Sinai. In Exodus Chapters 33 and 34, God shelters Moses in a rock crevice with a Divine "hand", until Moses is safe from being overwhelmed by the Divine Presence. Among other attributes, God's essence is revealed directly and is identified as "forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin, yet He does not leave the guilty unpunished, but visits the wrongs of parents upon their children to the third and fourth generations" (Exodus 34:7).

The Torah is instructing us that it is the very nature of God to forgive unconditionally. Yet, while forgiveness is never withheld and always given, God still allows us to experience the natural consequences of our actions, which we choose, often unconsciously, to put into motion. What the Torah is trying to teach us is that sometimes it can take up to 3 or 4 generations for the energy which we put into motion by our actions to exhaust itself, or play itself out, to the point where it no longer has any adverse effects on others.

In Joseph's story, the family favoritism begun by Abraham and Sarah, Joseph's great-grandparents, terminates with Joseph -- the fourth generation. Seen through this lens of cause-and-effect, we understand why it can take four consecutive generations (and a legacy of deceit, anger, envy, hatred and almost murder) for the fallout from this repeating pattern to extinguish itself.

This understanding of the far-reaching consequences of human actions, as explained in Exodus 34:7, also allows us to realize that sometimes the difficulties we experience in our lives are really the results of someone else's actions which are still being played out. Seemingly random, difficult events which we may experience without any reason to explain them, might not even be about us at all!

Joseph knows that he is his father's favorite, as do his jealous brothers. Without a doubt, it is their father's favoritism which produces his brothers' barely-controlled jealousy and resentment towards Joseph. These are the natural consequences which occur as a result of Jacob's overt favoritism.

But deeper still, Joseph knows that he is truly loved, and as a young man, he is given Divine dream-guided flashes of insight of a unique destiny he will fulfill. This knowledge sustains him. At some point after being sold into slavery by his own family, Joseph begins to recognize a new pattern emerging: He realizes that the troubles he encounters are allowed to happen to him by Adonai, in order to fulfill this future destiny which he can only now just glimpse at the far edges of the future that awaits him.

Instead of exhausting his energy by fighting the terrible circumstances of being sold into slavery, and later being thrown into Pharaoh's prison for an offense which he does not commit, Joseph instead chooses to see his troubles as stepping-stones on the path which Adonai has for him. Joseph makes a conscious decision to focus his energy into recognizing that God is working in the circumstances of his life, no matter if those events initially seem to be catastrophic. This recognition allows him to rise above the setbacks, and his awareness of God's Presence is what actually makes Joseph stand out in greatness. Even Pharaoh, who is mistaken for a false god, understands that Joseph is great because the Living God of Israel is with him. Just being near Joseph, it seems, also enables others to recognize that God is Present!

God promises our ancestors throughout the Book of Genesis, and by extension us, this:

"I am with you now, and in the future, I will be with you.
I do not promise that the circumstances of your life will be easy or comfortable.
I do not promise that you will not experience physical or emotional suffering, difficulties, or setbacks on the Journey.
I do not promise that you will never feel disappointment, experience loss or feel despair.
I do not promise that your heart will never be broken, that you will not have regrets, experience rejection, or suffer because of the choices made by others.
My promise is that I am with you in your suffering, in your confusion, in your stumbling, and in your search to understand why things occur the way they do. I may never explain why you will experience difficulties, because the true nature of why suffering exists in the world is beyond your understanding.
Still, I will be with you in all of your tomorrows, just as I was present in all of your yesterdays, so remain mindful of My Presence."

Joseph, like us, lives in the paradox between the difficulties of the Journey, and the irony of Arrival. He, like us, possesses the uniquely human ability to recognize God's Presence in all aspects of his life-no matter what comes his way. He, like us, also possesses the courage to break the chains of his family's dysfunctional behavior so that its disastrous results do not further pollute the lives of those who follow. He, like us, also has the ability to help others recognize the Presence of God in the midst of great difficulties.

May we each, like Joseph, rise above the difficulties inherent in our lives by developing a greater awareness that Adonai still honors the promises made to our ancestors -- to be with us regardless of what befalls us.

Shabbat Shalom, and a blessing upon everyone's head!